Postpartum Infidelity with Mothers-in-Law on the Rise

Cheating marriages seem to have gone from the famous side-chick to the wife’s friends, down to the cousins as the wife’s sisters, and now the wife’s mother. All over the internet stories of men cheating with their mother’s inlaws, and evening marrying them, are flooded and shockingly becoming popular. Now some of these mothers inlaws have their husbands with them.

When I say husbands, I mean the wife’s father is still alive and married to the wife’s mother. The audacity is unimaginably much these days when it comes to people betraying each other. You may be wondering why this is happening, why a man will choose to have eyes for his wife’s mother, I will tell you.

This is no doubt the ultimate betrayal, but this is how it happens. The arrival of a newborn in a home is supposed to be a joyful and life-changing experience for couples. However, for an increasing number of women, this milestone is being tainted by the ultimate betrayal, where their husbands cheat on them with their mothers-in-law.

This shocking phenomenon has left many new mums, trying to navigate life alone, where the two people who should be her trusted allies, are the ones conniving against her, at her weakest point.

While she is using her body, and her body alone, to nurture the child she has given birth to, to continue your lineage, and you are busy finding her mother sexually attractive? Some even say they are in love with their mothers-in-law. The questions are always endless, but let us evaluate the situation.

There is no doubt that new mothers are often emotionally vulnerable, making them more susceptible to feelings of insecurity and betrayal, and this is now added to changing family dynamics.

The arrival of a new baby can disrupt family dynamics, creating opportunities for inappropriate relationships between the couple. People frown and curse when a pregnant woman is in a relationship with a person, other than the father of her child, or partner. But when a man does it, it is considered a norm in society.

Now on the side of the grandma, there is an increased interaction between the husband and his mother-in-law, because of the baby’s arrival, the mother walking around the house and helping out suddenly seems attractive to the father, and this makes the husband see his mother-in-law more often than he is used to, and this blurs out the boundary that exists there.

But I will always say that for the whole event to take place, there must have been some thought and premeditation from both parties. A willing man and an unwilling mother-in-law will not result in an inappropriate relationship.

A willing mother-in-law and an unwilling man, will also not result in an inappropriate relationship. There must have been inappropriate thoughts from both parties, to ensure it is brought to reality.

Reasons For Betrayal

We will naturally blame the mother-in-law for these hurtful choices, some will even blame the mother-in-law more than the man, because of all the men in the world, it had to be the one marrying your daughter. To better understand this disturbing trend, consider the following factors:

1. Emotional Support

The husbands may seek emotional support from their mothers-in-law during the challenging postpartum period. They are now with a person who is healing from birthing a child, so while their attention is being paid to the woman, the man is feeling left out and battling with the absence of some natural services provided by his wife, who is now healing from birthing her child.

While the man is looking to also heal from the same pregnancy, even though he may have had little to no direct part to play.

So this boils down to the man’s inability to have sex. Women are given about 4-6 weeks of abstinence, to allow their bodies to recover from the process naturally, and since these men can’t seem to wait, they get creative with pursuing everything alive, and that something happens to be the mother-in-law.

Since their mother-in-law is now available, they try their luck on her. This is why many people blame their mother-in-law more than the men. Something society has been taught to do is to locate the woman in every situation and blame her for everything, never the man’s fault right?

2. Lack of Intimacy

New mothers may experience decreased intimacy with their partners due to postpartum recovery and childcare responsibilities, and this goes for the man, who is deprived and seemingly in need.

3. Generational Differences

Changing societal norms and values can contribute to misunderstandings and miscommunication, and while the mother-in-law starts to help out around the house, the husband may realise that some chores, activities, and services that he used to beg his wife for, are nothing to the done easily and freely by the mother in law, and this might tickle a certain part of the husband, he might find this attractive.

4. Opportunistic Behavior

The man who has been a carer to his wife while she was pregnant, is now being cared for, and his needs met by his mother-in-law, may take advantage of the increased interaction, and we don’t know what emotional torture the mother-in-law is facing in her marriage.

so when she sees a younger man paying attention to her, way more than her husband does, it becomes a green flag, it doesn’t even matter that it is her daughter’s man. The man is not expected to be at the club or hang with his friends, and all he says around the house will be his mother-in-law.

Consequences and Reactions

The discovery of postpartum infidelity with a mother-in-law can be unimaginably devastating, and as expected, here are some consequences that are likely to arise from that.

1. Emotional Trauma

Betrayal by both a spouse and a family member can lead to intense emotional trauma and feelings of isolation. This is because a woman goes to her mother when there is a problem in her marriage. Who then will she find comfort in?

2. Breastfeeding and Bonding Challenges

New mothers may struggle with breastfeeding and bonding with their babies due to emotional distress, and this is where the husband steps in to encourage and assure her. But now there is a gap because she has realised that there is an acute betrayal by him. She forges ahead alone and broken.

3. Marital Dissolution

A man’s infidelity with a mother-in-law often signals the end of the marriage. These days, they even end up trying to get married to the mother-in-law they are cheating with.

4. Family Rifts

The revelation can splinter family relationships, causing irreparable damage. The act will sever a bond forever. So before choosing your happiness over other people’s, are you ready to go through life with a grudge and possible lifelong resentment?

Protecting Your Relationship

To safeguard your marriage and family relationships during the postpartum period, here are a few tips.

1. Communicate Openly

Maintain open and honest communication with your partner. Find out what each other is struggling to endure or accept. This way, if there is room for change, it can be explored, rather than putting out your sealed heart to the mother-in-law who has come to assist the family.

2. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with family members, especially during the postpartum period. If it entails you telling your mother not to come into your matrimonial bedroom or spending time with your husband more than she does with you and the baby.

Not serving your husband his food and drinks. The family eats together at the dining table. Some people even suggest the mother-in-law only shows up with the father-in-law. This too is a good suggestion.

3. Prioritize Intimacy

Couples should make time for emotional and physical intimacy with their partner. Explore alternatives and show sensitivity and understanding of each other’s predicament.

4. Seek Support

When the time comes, seek the face of God, and reach out to healthcare providers, therapists, or support groups for guidance, to prevent drastic measures.

Healing and Recovery

If you’re facing this unimaginable situation, consider exploring the following steps.

1. Seek Professional Help

In the absence of your mother and husband, it may be difficult to trust anyone else, so you can seek professional help, some even narrate the total strangers on social media, which is where we have come across many of the stories.

Maybe sharing your story might encourage someone else going through it too, or even warn others of the possibility of something that cruel. Consult with a therapist or counsellor to navigate the emotional aftermath.

2. Support Groups

Join online forums or local support groups to connect with others who understand your pain. You just might be so shocked how many people have had the same experience, and they can’t believe that something like that happened to them.

Some people wallow in shame, self-pity and disgrace. This is because they are embarrassed that the two people who should be her allies are the ones who have become enemies. Does this mean that she is not worth a second thought? Discussing with other victims and realising that you all felt the same way, will help your healing and recovery.

3. Self-Care

Despite being a mother, ensure that you look out for yourself as well. Because study have shown that babies are mostly affected by the level of happiness they perceive from their mothers. Prioritize their physical and emotional well-being through self-care practices.

If there is a person who can watch your child for hours, then please take advantage of it, and have a space for you. It is a very good thing that the United Kingdom Government has made it available for mothers to drop off their babies who are as young as 9 months, for 15 hours each week. This allows mothers the liberty to enjoy self-care.

4. Forgiveness and Healing

As hard as it may seem, work towards forgiveness and healing. Healing and forgiveness are for your relaxation, because holding grudges is heavy, and letting it go lightens your heart. Free yourself of the emotional torture, and prioritise your emotional safety.

Conclusion

Postpartum infidelity with mothers-in-law is a disturbing trend that demands attention because believe me when I say that it is enough to drive anyone crazy. As for the perpetrators, we can better support new mothers and families without ruining their lives forever by recognizing the complexities and consequences of your actions or thoughts.

For the Mother-in-law, consider your grandchild growing up in a broken home, because of you, and not anyone else. And for the mothers, Remember, healing and recovery are possible, but it requires a willingness to confront the pain and seek help. We can’t trust anyone out on these streets.